How to be a Happy Psychic Medium not a Devastatingly Good One

In case you’re wondering a devastatingly good Psychic is one who drags out a person’s entire life, warts and all, at the hairdressers, the gym, on the bus, at a party, or anywhere that they can demonstrate their amazing gift regardless of whether the setting is appropriate or they were invited to do so.

They’re so over-excited by the idea that they can read other people that they never stop to think whether their victim wants to be opened up and rifled through in a public place. They also believe that they absolutely have to ‘say it the way it is’ regardless of the affect it has on the unwilling listener. Quite often the victim is bumbling happily through life only to be told by our excited Psychic that things aren’t as good as they think, their aura is in tatters, and they are to all intents and purposes deluded.

Their post-humiliation platitudes that things are going to get better next spring, summer, autumn, winter, or Tuesday rarely help. You cannot un-say words and the person in question (the one trying to leave by the nearest window) may never recover from being laid bare by a total stranger with a voice like a foghorn in the middle of a party that was supposed to be taking their mind off things.

Sadly devastatingly good Psychics don’t seem to realise that normal human beings recognise and accept that there are times when life is a bitch and they feel unable to cope. To them anyone looking a bit down is fair game, and not to save them would be an affront to their psychic gifts.

The worst kind of devastating Psychic is the predictive kind, the one who warns about something vague and then saunters off well pleased with their latest foray into the world of Psychic demolition. They are never clear about who the tall, dark, handsome stranger to be avoided at all costs is, leaving their victim to glare menacingly at anyone over 5’ 6” who looks like they might once have had dark hair even though they’re now completely bald. Wondering if this is the creep who’s going to leave their life in shreds, their children fatherless and their heart in tatters. Suddenly they’re afraid to forge a relationship with anyone who isn’t practically an albino, or they’re telling their partner to packs their bags and never darken their doorstep again on the grounds that their hair is on the dark side of blonde.

It gets even worse when the psychic prediction is only partly correct. You’re given an absolutely accurate description of a person about to enter your life, but the Psychic fails to understand that this person is going to be bad for you. When you meet this ‘certain someone’ who accurately matches the Psychic’s prediction you assume that it must be a good thing because their advent was predicted by someone working with the angels, and you suspend all natural logic and insight. You start dismissing behaviour that would normally have you reaching for a club because the offender was ‘destined’ to come into your life.

The problem with Psychic ability is that Psychics have to hear and understand correctly, and they are doing that under the most challenging circumstances – a Psychic connection. We all know how difficult normal communication is and how easily misunderstandings can occur, correctly reading a person’s energy field is a far greater challenge yet our devastatingly good Psychic doesn’t worry about all that because they’re just so devastatingly insightful.

The other problem is that they believe that prediction is practically a God given right; that Psychic ability is always correct, and that it is their duty to save you. As lifeguards they’d give you the kiss of life before you went into the sea.

So how do you avoid these people, and more importantly how do you find the genuine workers with real talent who have a valuable service to offer?

Firstly try to get a person you know and trust to recommend someone. If you can’t do that then look for a Psychic or Medium who believes in training, preferably with a national organisation that has a recognised training structure. You can also research the main UK organisations on the Internet and find one of their registered Psychics or Mediums in your area.

A well-trained and knowledgeable Psychic Medium will know the difference between Psychic and Mediumistic ability. Psychics read your energy field - put simply psychic ability is a very strong form of intuition - and Mediums can be contacted by the Spirit World. All Mediums are Psychics but not all Psychics are Mediums, and not all Psychics know that.

A genuine spiritual worker won’t offer you a reading they will wait for you to ask for one; because they know that to ambush you would be as intrusive as popping into your bedroom and rummaging through your smalls. So if a Psychic pounces on you in the supermarket over the frozen peas they’re one of two things, new to the game or intrusive.

You could also look for someone with an awareness of human nature, a counselling or life coaching qualification is a good indicator that the person cares about how they interact with others, but it is by no means a guarantee of good communication. Many workers don’t have those qualifications yet they are sensitive, caring individuals who phrase their messages carefully and work with integrity.

However, if you can’t get a recommendation from a trusted third party and the spiritual worker is a total stranger then either the organisation they belong to, their training, or their other qualifications will give you some sort of idea as to how they intend to work. Even if you’ve never heard of the organisation the worker will have spent time, money and effort on training that they believe in.

Training doesn’t guarantee excellence in any field but it does give an indication of attitude, and it might make the difference between a Reading that empowers you and one that frightens the living daylights out of you. Don’t fall for the old chestnut that training is unnecessary because our abilities are natural, David Beckham is obviously a natural athlete, but he’s more effective because of the time he’s spent training, without it he would have been a talented amateur.

Ask about the Psychic’s attitude towards prediction, because a good Psychic will know that prediction can be dangerous as it can predetermine an outcome and take away free will. Does something happen because it was going to happen or because a Psychic said it would happen? What came first the prediction or the egg (on your face)?

Be aware of the quality of the reading. A good Psychic or Medium will make definite statements and they won’t ask questions. They will also be specific and you won’t hear vague comments like ‘you’ve been a bit down lately’ or ‘you seem to be struggling a bit’. They will tell you why you are down and why you are struggling.

A good Medium will deliver real evidence to you, establish the communicator’s relationship with you, bring through memories that you share with the communicator and so on. The information will be specific and you will know that it’s right. Hopefully there will also be at least one thing that you have to check with another family member or friend that will turn out to be true. This is the best evidence because if you don’t know it you couldn’t have slipped up and told the Reader. No cold reading involved there.
They won’t ask ‘do you have a father in the spirit world?’ and when you say yes go on with ‘because I have your father here’. If a Medium asks you those kinds of questions clam up. However, do give a little leeway to the spiritual worker, they are only human and may slip up and ask the occasional question. As long as it’s only occasional that’s human, if it’s constant – flee!

Clients should also remember that the Spirit World is never unkind, cruel or devastating, and if a message really and truly upsets you then it is more than likely wrong or has been badly delivered.

It is highly unlikely that you will ruin your life if you don’t take the word of a Psychic or Medium. You might conclude later that you may have been better to follow their advice, but unless it’s ‘don’t drive next Tuesday’ you can normally find a way to dig yourself back out of the pit you’ve tumbled into. If it is ‘don’t drive next Tuesday’ cancel everything and stay indoors with a book; one day out of your life can’t hurt and at least you won’t spend all day worrying.

Those are some of the basics; a really detailed look at what constitutes good work is a whole other article and a myriad of differing opinions. However, we should all remember that at the end of the day a Psychic and/or Medium is only a human being doing their best. Some are misguided it is true. Some are better at their work than others, but that is true of any career. One rotten apple might affect a whole barrel, but a few rotten Psychics and Mediums don’t spoil the rest of us.

Don’t be afraid to ignore the word of a Psychic or Medium if it feels wrong to you because you can’t give responsibility for your life to someone who may or may not have heard or understood correctly. There will always be times in life when you are right, wrong, and confused. You can turn to a Psychic or Medium for advice, but at the end of the day you should always exercise your free will and trust your own instincts.

You may or may not get in a muddle along the way, and if you do you’ll have to sort it out. Yes, you might have to go after Mr or Miss Right and grovel – but Bridget Jones put it right and so can you!

© Deb Hawken - First published in Eternal Spirit Magazine, Autumn Equinox 2008