Carol Stirling: A Thoroughly Modern Medium

When you first meet Carol Stirling you cannot fail to be moved by the warmth and good humour that radiate from her, sweeping you up into a warm glow that makes you feel good about life. It is therefore unsurprising to discover that no matter how important her work as a Medium is to her it is her family that has first claim on her heart.
Carol was born in Canada but moved to Dunoon when she was four years old; hence there is no trace of a Canadian accent about this very Scottish lass. She was educated locally, met her husband in Dunoon, and they now live on the West Coast of Scotland with their three children and his golf clubs.

Carol first realised that she had a gift when she was 13 years old and began having out of body experiences. She told her parents that her grandfather had been telling her comforting stories to help her sleep only to discover that he had passed to the spirit world many years before.

Although her family tried to be supportive they didn’t understand Carol’s experiences and tended to try to ignore them as best they could. Carol, however, couldn’t do this so spent most of her life as an odd ball – something she believes attracted her husband to her in the first place. At least he knew what he was taking on.
She believes that when other people can’t understand what you’re going through you can only deal with your experiences in your own way. Good advice for developing Psychics and Mediums, and not a bad bit of advice for anyone who has different aspirations from their family or marches to the tune of a different drummer, as they say.
From a young age she didn’t find it difficult to accept that she was psychic but it took many years for her discover that she was a Medium.

Her most inspirational experience happened when her beloved Grandmother connected with her on a psychic level to tell Carol that she was going to pass and asking her to call the rest of the family to the hospital that morning. The doctors insisted that her Grandmother was fine but Carol trusted her own psychic instinct and stayed with her holding her hand until she passed away.

Before she started working as a Psychic and Medium she realised her dream of training to be a hairdresser, and like Gordon Smith she discovered that spirit are happy to take the opportunity of a chat during the cut and colour. So we girls have our own Psychic hairdresser – they should have a competition to see who can do the best cut and give the best message at the same time! Now wouldn’t that be an evening of Mediumship with a difference?

To support her work as a Medium Carol has done a number of counselling courses in order to handle clients in a professional manner; including specialist bereavement training. As a Medium she has also done a number of courses at the Scottish Spiritual College, the Arthur Findlay College, and with some of the best known and most successful modern day Mediums. Her counselling and spiritual training not only helps her to support her clients, but also helps her in pointing them in the right direction if she feels that they need further help and support.

Some people question whether it is possible to train a Medium, feeling that the ability has to be natural which renders training unnecessary. Carol agrees that the ability is natural but feels that “training a Medium is more like giving guidance as you cannot make anyone a Medium; they have to feel and sense it for themselves”. She believes that you should train with a variety of Mediums to see how each is different, and that you can achieve great insight by watching other Mediums work. Although “no training will make you the perfect Medium, but finding a good teacher in which you trust will help...A trusting teacher will help you work with spirit. No one can make spirit work with you.”

Many Mediums and Psychics feel isolated at the beginning of their journey because they don’t know anyone in the field and haven’t a clue what their spiritual path might be. You can therefore imagine how difficult it was for Carol living in a remote part of Scotland to begin her journey and find her path. We all need to be with people like us who share our experiences of life, and Carol always has to jump on a ferry in order to find like-minded souls. However, this should give those struggling alone hope because if Carol can find people then the rest of us can surely walk outside our front doors and find people to help us on our way.

For newcomers to the field who are just finding their way Carol suggests that you “...trust yourself but you must give yourself a reality check. Make sure you’re not working from the ego of wishing to be something. Also go with word of mouth about going to development groups as working with others does help your development.”
You will sometimes find it difficult to blend with certain people, and that can dampen your joy in your work. Carol suggests that if you’re in this situation you move away and find new people to work with who make you feel inspired and enthusiastic again.

Finding your own path can be a difficult journey, and even experienced Mediums like Carol have days when they wonder whether they’re getting it right and working to plan. Carol says that if you keep going as you get busier you will find it easier to concentrate on the work and let your own insecurities fall away; then the right path will find you.
We asked Carol about the difficulties of blending everyday life with spiritual work, and whether she has ever gone through a difficult time with her work and doubted herself as a spiritual worker.

She says that it takes time to adapt to the lifestyle required of a working Medium and Psychic, and that sometimes people forget that you don’t walk around the supermarket switched on and waiting for someone’s Gran to pop in. She needs to be in the right mind space to work well, which means being relaxed and calm before she opens her senses to spirit.

She does find it difficult to blend her personal life with a role that includes evening and weekend working, but she has many friends in the spiritual field who form a mutual support group. She has never struggled with the work she feels called to do, but she has sometimes crossed swords with the underlying politics of spiritual work. When this happens she reminds herself that nobody is perfect and tries to filter out anything negative that crosses her path leaving the universe to work things out in its own way. As she says “what goes around comes around”.

Carol takes part in paranormal investigative work along the lines of Most Haunted but without the theatrics. As such we asked whether in her experience spirit really remain in the same place for hundreds of years or is it just old memories that are left in the building? There is always this image of Queen Catherine Howard being dragged through Hampton Court Palace screaming for mercy every Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 3.00 pm. Wouldn’t you want to be anywhere else doing anything else if you were her, not lurking near the scene of the second worst moment of your life (the worst being the beheading of course)?

In Carol’s experience during most investigations spirit are no longer present and it is the imprint they leave behind which psychics and mediums pick up. However, she has witnessed spirit in some locations and wonders if they will make themselves known if they feel comfortable with the Medium present. She believes that if a spirit was particularly happy in a location they may be inclined to revisit that place much as we would a favourite holiday destination.

Carol has withdrawn from television work in the past because she feels that the image some producers have conflicts with her idea of mediumship and she won’t work in such a situation. Even though it has meant losing the opportunity to work on television she only wants to display true findings fresh from spirit without the need to turn fact into a drama.

Her real joy lies in working with people, and she believes that “A psychic should never tell a client what to do but help them be aware of their real dreams by always checking that they themselves have validation, that they have a psychic link is important.”

In her Mediumship she loves bringing through factual evidence from the spirit world and passing on messages “especially the things that were left unsaid”. Like many Mediums she finds that her work helps her deal with the pain of losing those she loves to spirit “knowing that you can reunite makes it easier to me”.

Unlike many spiritual workers Carol has come to terms with the money aspect believing that “Everyone has living expenses and if it costs me to put petrol in my car and I have to use it to visit you for a service why should I not be paid?...No one should have to justify receiving payments for a service.”

A medal winning line dancer Carol enjoys expressing herself through dance, but she doesn’t get time to do the drawing she would like to do. To relax she spends time in a favourite outdoor setting that is special to her for many personal reasons. She also meditates but not necessarily regularly “I feel it is important to empty your mind and meditate and I go through times where I meditate more than others. Everyone is has a difference of opinion with this but I do chose to do it when I need to”.
Carol has also quite literally walked over hot coals – twice! She believes that this was an excellent way of letting go of all her fears and highly recommends it to help anyone suffering from fear change their state of mind. I think I’ll take her word for that for the time being though; the whole idea of singeing my toenail varnish fills me with horror!

She dreams of having her own holding one day with ponies for her children to ride, and if she ever becomes rich she will create her own spiritual retreat centre with space for a spiritual school. In the meantime she has recently been abroad to work, she writes horoscopes for an American magazine and some British newspapers, and she runs workshops to inspire other people in their work. In the New Year there will be a new programme of events on her website (www.carolstirling.co.uk), and a few more media appearances are in the pipeline.

Carol says that she hopes “to be remembered for my smile and happy attitude towards helping spirit”. Having had the pleasure of meeting her I feel that she will most certainly get her wish.

© Deb Hawken - First published in Eternal Spirit Magazine, Winter Solstice 2008