It is often suggested that the term "Mind, Body, Spirit" is an overused cliche?, but I don't agree. I believe that we come from and return to the Spirit World, and to me it would seem ridiculous to think of hanging my Spirit up on a peg and coming over here without it - here where we probably need it the most. So for me mind, body, spirit is a fact. We are made up of three elements and if one of them isn't being used then the whole unit is out of whack.
God
I don't believe that God is a man with a long white beard, that image was taken from the statue of Zeus as worshipped by the ancient Greeks. I do, however, believe in a strong, wise, loving, protective, magnificent universal power. The name for this power seems to have become a politically correct mouthful. We have women trying to stake their claim with 'Mother God'; others who don't want to offend anyone talking to 'Father/Mother God'; still others borrowing the Native American 'Great Spirit' and so forth and so on. For me God is a three letter word that I can spell and as such it describes something that I couldn't begin to describe as well as any other term...and it's simple! So for me whatever it is that loves us unconditionally is just 'God'; faceless, gender-free, skin colour unknown, pure love (although I couldn't begin to start a prayer with "Dear Love" it just wouldn't feel right). Anyway let's face it, if this power should turn out to be a loving father or mother figure does it matter? We need someone or something that understands us - because we sure as heck don't understand each other a lot of the time!
Psychic or Medium?
There are many viewpoints out there as to what is a Psychic and what is a Medium, and how they work. You will hear the terms used interchangeably to mean both areas of work and it can be confusing. However, the modern consensus of opinion is that Psychics read the living and Mediums can communicate with those in the Spirit World. All Mediums are Psychics but not all Psychics are Mediums. It is possible for anyone to train to be a Medium, but if you haven't had training it is quite easy to make the mistake of thinking that your information comes from the Spirit World when it doesn't.
Clairvoyant or Medium?
In the old days the term Clairvoyant was used to describe a person who could communicate with the Spirit World. The term 'Clairvoyant Demonstration' was used to describe a demonstration of communication with the Spirit World. Nowadays it is correct to use the term 'Medium' as Clairvoyance (Clear Seeing) is only one of the ways a Medium works. The others are Clairaudience (Clear Hearing), Clairsentience (Clear Feeling), Claircogniscence (Clear Knowing), Clairgustience (Clear Smelling), Clairallience (Clear Tasting). You'd have to come to my talk "The Mystery of Mediumship" to get a more in-depth explanation. Incidentally, a Clairvoyant Psychic can see the future.
Death and dying
I sometimes get asked not to talk about my work because I work with death. I admit that I do forget because the people in the Spirit World feel as alive to me as you do. I know that when you've just lost a person or animal that you love it's impossibly hard to believe that they could still feel gloriously and completely alive, but that's simply the truth of my work for me. Of course I miss the physicality of the people and animals I have temporarily lost to the Spirit World, but I never miss their presence, because to me they never leave. This is why Mediums do their work, to prove to you that life goes on and grief can and will heal in its own good time. You just have to ride out the storm as best you can and one day the love that you had with your beloved will come floating back and settle around you - if you're able to let it and accept it. I can heartily recommend Colin Fry's book "The Message" to help you with the grief process.
A Realistic Cross-border Relationship
As a Medium I seek to prove to you that you have not lost your loved ones and animals to the Spirit World, instead you have entered into an altered relationship where one or more parties are dis-incarnate. Whilst it's vital to accept that your loved one has passed across to the Spirit World, it is important to remember that you are still a complete family (including your animals) or group of friends, and that love never dies. You don't have to be a Medium or Psychic to continue to feel that love-link, but you do need to let your grief heal so that you are open to the good feelings again and can sense them around you.
Healing Grief
Through my work I regularly help people who are struggling to deal with grief. They often feel that they are not coping as well as they 'should' and that they 'ought' to be feeling better by a certain point. There is no 'ought' or 'should' about it. Grief is a horrible emotion and everyone experiences it differently. There are no rules about how long it should take to feel better, you heal in your own good time. However, if you have any doubts about your ability to heal or the length of time you have felt grief-stricken do go and get help. I cannot stress the importance of this enough. Your GP will be able to support you, and there are many organisations out there - for example CRUSE - ready and waiting to help you through this difficult time.
I get fed up with the terms 'natural Medium/Psychic'. These abilities are perfectly natural in everyone, they're part of who we are, it's just that some people choose to develop the abilities and work with them, and some don't.
Strong, stronger, strongest...or teacher's pet?
I get equally frustrated when I hear "oh he/she's such a strong Medium/Psychic". Ask yourself what part of the human body/mind you would measure to decide how 'powerful' a Spiritual worker is; this isn't weightlifting and the truth doesn't lie in our biceps or quadriceps. Anyone working in this field will tell you that just like any other job there are good days and bad days, highs and lows, and the only true 'power' lies with the universe. So if you find yourself folding up in a corner because according to someone you're the only un-powerful Psychic they've ever met, pick yourself up, dust yourself down and keep on working for Spirit. Your best is always good enough for them.
To train or not to train - that is the question
In this day and age great store is set by qualifications but there is no way that a Medium or Psychic can officially qualify. There is also the debate as to whether 'natural' abilities require training especially as the information of a Medium comes from the Spirit World. I did go on a lot of intensive training courses and I've never regretted it. It's true that we get our information from the Spirit World, but that doesn't alter the fact that a human being is involved and other human beings with more experience have a great deal to teach us about how to handle the work at this end - in the real world. I've never regretted my training and I can unhesitatingly recommend either the Arthur Findlay College or The Avalon Projectfor training.
Spirituality - Religion or Philosophy?
Whilst I have nothing but respect for spiritual churches and have often found comfort inside the walls of a church, for me spirituality is a way of life, a philosophy. It belongs everywhere you are and in everything you do. You don't have to give up work to be spiritual. You don't have to wear pink or purple to be spiritual. There is no uniform, no creed, no qualification, it belongs everywhere and in everything. It 'just is'.
What makes a good reading?
Enthusiasm and an open mind. The best starting point is to get a recommendation either from a friend who has seen a Medium or from a shop or Spiritual Church or centre. When you first contact the Medium don't launch into a blow-by-blow account of who you want to contact and their life story, that just spoils all our fun. We only need a forename and a contact telephone number to book an appointment. Take a pad and pen with you to record details in case something needs checking with another member of the family. Some Mediums record their work, others (like me) find that tape recorders sometimes won't work when they're channelling (don't ask me why it's very frustrating and I don't know!). Apart from that be relaxed at the Reading, confirm whether the information is correct or you need more detail, and be prepared for one or two (but only one or two) things that need checking. This is your best evidence, if you didn't know then there's only one place the Medium can have got their information - from the Spirit World. Lastly, remember to really want the Reading, and that you can say 'stop' at any time if it becomes uncomfortable or too emotional - it's yourreading.
Should a Medium ask questions?
No we shouldn't but you try having a conversation with someone and not asking questions, especially if you suddenly get a picture of an egg whisk and a rabbit in your mind! We're only human. However, the vast majority of what we say should come under the heading of 'definite statements'. Remember also that questions such as "who has your grandmother's sapphire ring with the three missing stones?" or "who fell in the sea with all their clothes on?" indicate that the Medium is relaying specific information that the Spirit Communicator has told them. However, if you come across a Medium who does nothing but ask questions you should seriously consider seeing someone else - and not answering the questions!
What is Evidence?
Evidence is something that you can verify such as a name, a date of a birthday, anniversary or passing. A passing age and/or condition. A clear memory that you know to be correct. It's also anything that feels absolutely right to you. However, some of the best evidence is something that you don't know and another family member later confirms to be right.
To charge or not to charge, that is the question
Like all spiritual workers I've gone round and round in my mind on the subject of charging until my head spins. Here are my conclusions. I live in the real world and I'm not independently wealthy. My husband works very hard to give me the time and space to do this work, if I had a day job he could downshift, but he feels this work is important and is willing to do whatever he can to support it. Could I call myself spiritual if I looked after everyone I come across except the person who's willing to support me - and therefore you? I don't think so. Morally and financially I need to do my bit. I'm a Medium in the real world.
Platform Mediumship and Laughter
It might sound odd that Mediumship can be extremely amusing because death and laughter aren't normally accepted bedfellows, yet there are two good reasons why laughter and Mediumship work well together. Firstly because the Spirit World likes to bring through their happiness and joy in their new life in order to reassure their loved ones on this side. Secondly, the Spirit World exist on a far higher and lighter vibration than we do, and heavy and unhappy energy is for them the equivalent of trying to swim through treacle. They struggle to make the link and so does the Medium. Just as you would struggle if you walked into a room full of unhappy or angry people. So that's why Mediumship and laughter work well together, it doesn't change or trivialise bereavement but it does help us all to feel a little better - and why not?
Deb Hawken- Medium, Inspirational Speaker, Writer
Musings
Musings of a Happy Medium